Becoming the ‘best’ music educator I can be is a life-long endeavor that requires continuous learning and reflection. For the past few years, I have been researching and learning how to be a culturally responsive music educator. I have been creating a culturally responsive classroom community in some ways, and there are areas that need attention. An area of focus and refinement is moving closer towards what Lisa Delpit describes as a ‘warm demander.’ 

Warm demanders are teachers who, “expect a great deal of their students, convince them of their own brilliance, and help them to reach their potential in a disciplined and structured environment.” (Delpit)

Characteristics of a Warm Demander

I first encountered the idea of a warm demander when reading “Culturally Responsive Teaching and the Brain” by Zaretta Hammond, I recognized the benefits of a teacher as a warm demander, and I was unable to articulate concrete steps I could take to move closer to the goal. After letting the information mull around in my head for a while and some further reading and study, this list of characteristics stood out as a solid starting point.

• Expresses personal warmth vs. impersonal professionalism 
• Prioritizes building rapport and trust 
• Clearly communicates high standards and scaffolds learning 
• Shows personal regard for students 
• Earns the right to demand engagement and effort 
• Encourages and celebrates productive struggle (Kaminski)

Before beginning the process of becoming a warm demander for the children and young adults I serve, I must understand myself and how I view and approach the classroom and interactions with children. Dr. Hammond offers three beginning steps:

1. Understand my OWN cultural reference points
2. Practice self-management
3. Widen Your Interpretation Aperture. Expand assumptions about the motivations of student behavior to include cultural differences in learning style and social interactions. 

Cultural Reference Points

What are ‘cultural reference points,’ and how can I understand my own? In the simplest sense, cultural reference points are what is considered ‘normal’ to you in the classroom, home, community and the world around you. Writing down my ideas of what I expect to happen in school and examining why I have adopted those expectations has been helpful in identifying my cultural reference points. Where did the expectations develop and who instilled them into my belief system? How did these conventions make me feel as a child? What were my relationships with the adults in my life like? Why are these expectations and assumptions important to me? When I am able to understand why I have expectations and assumptions, I am better able to understand why ‘normal’ may not be the same for everyone. For example, in some cultures and many large families, speaking in a loud voice is normal. When I ask students to work in teams and the noise level is too much, I need to stop and actively teach the children the level of speaking that is preferred, what that sounds like and why it is necessary. If a child’s family is always speaking at level five, level four may feel like the child is working really hard to speak quietly. Meanwhile, I am expecting a level three and becoming upset and feeling disrespected. 

Self-Management

Self-management is a tool that serves us well both inside and outside of the classroom. I lived most of my adult life with little to no emotional intelligence. While I was able to show compassion and care to the children I was serving, I was not able to understand their emotional perspective, I took behaviors personally and internalized situations that were not mine to bear. Children are still growing, and their brains and bodies are developing and changing rapidly. As the adult in the room, it is my responsibility to keep cool and manage conflict or misunderstanding without losing control of my emotions. Many of us take behavior personally, which serves neither us nor the child. Recognizing my triggers, (what behaviors and/or words generate unpleasant emotions) and how I feel when I am becoming frustrated allows me to implement strategies to re-regulate before addressing a problem. For example, I was becoming frustrated with a group of children who were overexcited and unable to follow the directions. I could feel the tension in my chest and the flush of frustration in my face. I asked everyone to sit where they were and took out the “breathing ball.” (Small Hoberman Sphere) We took four deep breaths together. I was re-regulated (so were many of the children) and able to correct the problem and re-state the directions calmly.

Widen Your Interpretation Aperture

When I see a child exhibit unexpected behavior, what is my first response? Am I assuming that the child is willfully being inappropriate, or that they are doing the best they can in the situation? Perhaps the child is overstimulated, maybe they are unable to remember the multi-step directions because they live with ADHD, and it impacts their short-term memory. It could be that the child did not understand what I expected due to the way I framed the expectation. There are 1,000 reasons a child could present behaviors that I may find distressing, AND that I am not trained to resolve. I can reduce the number of negative interactions with students when I begin by assuming the BEST possible intention when unexpected behaviors arise. An example shared in Culturally Responsive Teaching & the Brain goes as follows: 

A student stands up to sharpen pencils at a time in the lesson when this action was not permissible. The teacher says, “Would you like to go back to your seat? I am in the middle of direct instruction.” The student says “No” and carries on with the pencil. The teacher becomes upset and sends the child to the office. The child does not understand what they did to upset the teacher. 

Because I understand white, middle-class cultural norms, I know that the teacher was not actually asking a question. However, in the child’s home expectations are framed as direct commands and options are framed as questions. The child sincerely thought continuing on was an option due to the way the teacher communicated their expectation. Assuming the best intention in this situation could have cleared up the problem in a moment, avoided a trip to the office and resulted in a more positive relationship with the teacher. Presuming the BEST in students will make a positive impact in the relationship I am able to build with the children I serve even when consequences are warranted. In many instances, I will find that what I perceived to be malice was just a misunderstanding.

This is the beginning of my journey to move closer to the role of music educator as warm demander. Will this solve every problem that arises in school? No, and it will build stronger bonds with children, families and caregivers. It will greatly reduce issues that arise from developmentally appropriate responses to stress, disability, misunderstanding and being a child that is having a bad day. I will continue to write about my journey this academic year, you are welcome to come along for the ride. If you would like to join me, I would love to hear what is and isn’t working for you.

Delpit, L. (2013). “Multiplication Is for White People”: Raising Expectations for Other People’s Children. The New Press.

Hammond, Z. (2015). Culturally Responsive Teaching and the Brain: Promoting Authentic Engagement and Rigor Among Culturally and Linguistically Diverse Students. Corwin. 

Kaminski, G. (n.d.). Warm Demander Pedagogy. https://www.pcc.edu/online/2022/02/warm-demander-pedagogy/

Love, B. L. (2020). We Want to Do More Than Survive: Abolitionist Teaching and the Pursuit of Educational Freedom. Beacon Press.